Neglect

I've been neglecting my blog.. But that doesn't surprise me, my life is rather boring so there isn't much to write about..

Been busting ass at the gym.. Did I mention that I'm working with Genie, who is an awesome coach and a terrific girl whom is an inspiration to me in more ways then I can ever say...

I've also been spending time with my family.. something I have been doing a lot of since my recent divorce.. I should have been doing it all along but I always felt like I needed to stay close to home when I was married to J because I didn't trust him and I never knew what condition I would find my house in when I returned home.. How sad that I allowed someone to have that much control over my life and happiness.. I stayed in a marriage far to long out of fear.. fear of being alone ( which was stupid because I love being alone.. LOVE) and fear that I couldn't make it on one income.. been making it ok for the past 7 months now..

This past weekend I helped my nephew celebrate his 3rd birthday.. being that I only have fur children and not human children, it's very important to me to be the best aunt in the whole world to my nieces and nephews, something that I feel that I have failed at for the past few years due to my preoccupation with my failing marriage..

Me and the handsome birthday boy

 

 

Me and my handsome little brother, sorry ladies, he's spoken for :) It's funny though because the older we get the more alike we look..

Being three is so hard :)

Me Knitting pool side.. yes, I'm the dork that brings her knitting needles everywhere.. I have a ton of unfinished projects and right now i'm working on a patriotic summer scarf that I was going to wear on the 4th of July, obviously I'm a little late so hopefully I will have it done by September 11th.. All of our patriotic holidays fall in the hottest part of the year so why i'm wanting to wear a scarf in the summer is beyond me, but then again I'm not normal..

I've been thinking here lately at how unorganized my life is.. my house seems to be in a constant disarray, I have way way too much stuff.. I'm not a contestant for hoarders or anything but I would like to streamline things for myself to manage my time better.. My goal is to start working out before I go to work in the mornings.. I had my alarm set for four this morning but that "thing" got shut off immediately and I went back to sleep.. I took yesterday as a rest day because I was dragging and just felt completely exhausted.. Anyway, I carry way to much with me on a daily basis..

 

I practically need a luggage rack just to travel to work :/

 

And then there is my Thirty-One business.. I love the company and I love the product and I've somehow managed to make enough money to play with.. though I've spent most of it back on thirty-one products.. I'm just unsure if I want to continue with my business.. My last party was awesome and I made a huge commission check off of it.. ( hello vet bill) but it was a royal pain in the ass.. I may hang on for a few more months so I can take advantage of an awesome pre-sell event and the opportunity to purchase an add on kit along with some great fall specials.. I'm thinking Christmas gifts here.. ugh Christmas.. it's now only 5 months away..

 

I have so many things I want to accomplish this year and have yet to get any of them done.. Do not know where my mind or motivation has been.. guess its time to revisit some old goals and write out some new ones..

Terrific Tuesday

I decided it was time to give my blog a little love... I've been busy busy busy here lately..

Workout wise, I've been on point, I've placed myself under the care of Genie over at Genie's Journey, she wrote me out a great plan and is keeping me accountable with  my nutrition.. I've been keeping up with her blog for several years now and am always impressed with the package that she brings to the stage, plus she is a super nice girl and she is going to be a blast to work with.. I really want to compete before I turn 40. I'm aiming for a small bodybuilding show next year in my area before I do something bigger..

Today, I treated my coworkers to some gluten free cupcakes made by one of our local bakeries.. I confess, i had one too because I just coulden't resist and after all I paid for them :0) So if you are in my local area and are intreseted in gluten free, organic and even vegan items check these  guys out.. No these were not on my plan.. BOO!!! So I'm going to have to be good on the nutrition front for the rest of the week

 

So I've had a rough six months, going through a divorce that was neccessary but still painful, dealing with the baggage that the last 5 years has brought me.. wont go into all the details because this is a public blog and out of respect for the ex's family I prefer to keep it quiet. I've been floundering around trying to do things that are healthy for myself and well I've been spending way way too much money to boot.. anyway, i picked up a book recently that I read a long time ago and started reading it again.. The name of the book is called You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay.. I love, love, love Louise and everything that she teaches.. she teaches us to love ourselves which has been a very very hard thing for me to do... probably a big reason why the last 5 years of my life has been a disaster, you would think it would be easy to love yourself but I look back on my life these past few years and realize that if I loved myself I would not have stayed in a situation for so long that was destroying me and my self esteem but alas easier said then done so thats what I'm working on right now, I have a lot of healing to do before I can even think about getting myself into another relationship and honestly the thought of getting into another relationship scares the shit out of me anyway, I have found that it's much easier to be alone with my dog and my family then to deal with the drama of someone else..

anyway here is the book and a link to her website